sick

i dun want this. i wanna be who i am. i feel troubled. i am so so so so so confused. i am perplexed. i need to be friendly and yet i've to keep reminding myself to keep a distance from him. why is he treating mi so good. why isnt he my bf. how i wish my bf is like that. why isnt my bf beside mi. i am going crazy about these things. wat should i do? i dun wanna give him hope yet he needs my support right now, he's been treating mi so good and i dun wanna put him aside. cant possibly be cruel towards him anymore.

anyway, as my own bf, himself requested, i should learn to let go..not letting him be the most important person in my heart. perhaps all these are presurizing him.
ppl just wont appreciate when u are treating them like the most important person anyway. his excuse to rebutt is 'i nv ask to do this for mi.'
will nv forget this statement.

impression comes b4 everything. self reputation is the most important thing to do. so wat if u have a veri good 1st impression? as time goes by, when ppl gets to know u better and longer, they will know as wat u really are and no longer take u as the 1st impression u gave them earlier on. wat for doing so much about ur 1st impression? might as well think of ways to be a good person and ppl will like u no matter wat. 1st impression is important in certain extent but definitely not among friends,
especially teenagers.

wat's next? no idea. how to let go? no idea. hate him? probably cant hate him so much now. so wat should be my next move?