maybe he can see that..

when you avoid addressing a problem you have with someone becox you dont want to ignite a disagreement, there is the problem for future disaster. not dealing with the situation leaves you feeling anxious and miserable. but majority of women doesnt like confrontation, becoz women tend to take things personally, they have a propensity to shy away from adversarial situations..hmmmm u know why?! women are good negotiators! lolx.
yeah, another thing..planning. it takes discipline to create a personal strategic plan, but without a plan it is impossible to know where you are going or when you have achieved your goals. so wat if u have a plan, it is easy to get sidetracked. this often occurs when the realities of life come crashing down around you, tempting u to do something becox you think its wat u should do rather than wat u really wanna do. however, life throws us a whole bunch of curveballs and if we dont have a plan, theres nothing we really can hold on to. my thoughts stopped here when my previous relationship ended. then my current so called boyfriend reminded mi that
i am actually letting events and circumstances controling my life..ok dunnoe whether it is right or wrong but i am gonna so something about it for sure. begin developing strategies to achieve my goal, make a lifetime plan? nooo, not so soon but most probably i'll plan wat i am gonna do for the next few months or years..make decisions that advance mi towards my goal but one step at a time..no hurry! my plan should be flexible, not written in concrete, keep an open mind when considering new opportunities. i dunnoe the key to success but the key to failure is trying to pls mi!! better throw away the key before it pisses mi! hahahahahahax

out of sight out of mind

yEah.. update, update!
quit my job yesterday and back to slacking life. hmmmm kinda sHiOk, woke up at 12++ today and did nothing until 4 plus. fried some caramaris, NOT TOO bad ..just eh.. they looked kinda awful. Lolx. after which i cooked curry spagettiz, NOT TOO BAD as well, just that.. eh... the spagettiz was abit hard as didnt boiled long enough.. suppose to boil for 13 mins but i think i waited for less than 10 mins. but it was super delicious ok wAhahahaha i made steamed egg after that and WOw yUmmY! bLOated. -.-
lets see wat am i going to do tmr...hmmmm wanted to make pizza tmr but guess i shall rest awhile b4 cooking again, if not all my neighbours will start complaining that theres such a hmmmmm nice, sweet, aromatic smell from my house everyday yeah. =D
most probably will be going back to tss and visit the band tmr afternoon or should i go to the gym and continue tarnishing california's name tmr? y!@#%!#@E@!

hmmmm

went to ngee ann poly just now and appealed for a course transfer there. okk was being posted to property development and facilities management in singapore poly!!! wth, thats my last choice yeah. was damn frastruted and heartbroken with the posting result. in fact i felt heavyhearted throughout the whole yesterday. really thanks for ppl who concerned and offered helpz to mi.
i had a long thought yesterday night and read articles about facilities management, was suppose to meet alvin today and he's suppose to help mi with the course transfering in sp today but i told him that i'll just take up the course and try it out! for the 1st semester. lolx
think i am able to accept the course which being posted to mi by now and right, gotta CREATE PAssiON for it. 3 years is not a short period of time yea.

guess wat course i appealed in np just now? its Facilities management for business! -.- no diff. but just wanna change school. actually was confused with which poly to go b4 the posting result has been released but since the course i am going to take now is about the same, i am fine with either poly now coz
both are near my house! but theres something in np attracts mi to study there, somehow i feel more familiar and comfortable in np than in sp. hahax okok now leave the decision to fAte and i am not gonna care about it anymore, as long as i can accept the course that i am gonna study for the next 3 years right.

YEah.. taking leave from work today and tmr~! planned to go chalet but heard that its super boring there, so i am gonna stay at home and rot~~ miss the feeling of rotting at home eh!! wahahhahaha

woke up at 2 plus today!!! so shiok!!!its been long that i can sleep for soooooooooo long` ok den i went to work at 4pm and cocosan went crazy when she came back for lunch. hmpf! she's so unreasonable and eh biatch. it's not KAren's fault and yet she scolded Karen for so long!!!! worse of all, it had nothing to do with mi yet she scolded mi actually the same thing as wat she scolded kaRen. didnt talk and didnt even smile for the whole day in hilo express. i Was so ap and fierce as wat the ppl in pasta stall told mi. cOol. like it that way. gonna tell her that i am quitting at the end of the month. not gonna give a damn if she cant find any replacement. how come her scoldings link from one thing to the other so easily and idiotically. such a bitch.

Had a long chat with Elwayne tonight while we were on our way home on the bus 502. hmmmm such a pitiful love life he has for his 1st and 2nd stead eh. something he said is so true, we must have the courage to believe in wat u think and faith in each other in order to enjoy in the relationship, but i told him that he thought too much and believes in what he thought is right so strongly that he's so hurt now. yeah relationship is that risky! give and take and expect nothing in return -.- but failure is nv a final so dont close ur door yet, who knows ur Ms Right is waiting for u somewhere. lOlx As for mi, i dun expect much from this new relationship too. coz the guy i am dating now is somehow different from the rest i've met. he has a pig face ^@^ and i have difficulty in seeing wat's in his mind by looking at him.
Okieeee ur guys are going to the chalet later right? enjoy yah and wait for mi!!!!!!!!!!!!! dun leave b4 Thursday hor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

today is friday

met karen b4 work and we went shopping..i was late for half an hour i think. -.-
o YEAH managed to control myself today and didnt anyhow buy things, bought 2 shirts onli~ ok blah blah blah blah working today is super boring, there wasnt any customer during 5pm to 8pm and we stood still for 3 hours!! super super tired!! and we didnt dare to talk much as cocosan might go mad anytime. hahahahax
cheryl waited for us after work and we went to cine . okokok main theme of today's entry. i saw one of the stranger in my friendster friend list today!!! we were like talking talking talking and he walked in and sat down at the table infront of us, den i was thinking 'eh..this guy looks kinda familiar.' he's so daMn DAMn DAMn yandao la. looks like edison!!! and he wasnt shy when we tried to take a pic of him huh. -.- hahhhahaa
dun really looks like edison here but he really do in person, trust mi!!!!!!! >< ohhh..one bad point, he's short. i think he's onli about 170cm. all i know about him is that he's from hongkong and he's just graduated from secondary school`!

funny, although i am attached, my life style didnt really changed much and i am posting this, i think most probably is because that i know my boyfriend, dessy wont mind`~ hahahaha and i dun mind him seeing other girls too` this is the way. confidence and trust.

hmmmmmm...

hmmmmmm..woke up not long ago..was suppose to meet lynn ade and mel early in the morning for swimming but ended up sleeping in the living room as i was too tired. just cancelled my appointment with the trainer and going to cancel the shopping with jacqueline today.
have been sleeping irregulary these few days and i can feel that my metobolism is getting lower compare to last time. feel so weak when i am doing any workouts. the thing is that i tend to consume more and more food for energy regain as i sleep lesser and lesser each day. The worsE thing is that my eyes are getting smaller and smaller!!!!!!!!!!!! >< lolx
Mummy is flying back tonight, better tidy up my room and clean up the house now~~
yEah,didnt know that u ppl are so keen to read my blog eh. lOLx HELLOoooo to everyone who is reading my this entry`! haha
o ya one thing i wanna ask, is the fake Helen reading this too?

gRRrr

GRrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..Can somebody pls help mi. the way i am wasting my money is far too scary!!!! was waiting for lynn after gym and went to shopping alone in esprit and wisma. wanted to see onli but ended up trying and then.. buying. ARgh!! seriously broke now.
reached working place at 6pm and..
ok gotta call someone now, he said he got something to tell mi and i think he's super sUper tired. so i better call him back fast.

WEeee

hmmm went out with desmond on saturday. lolx we went to science centre! -.-' its long since i've being there and it was nice. i am so glad that we managed to form a huge cubic with (A+B)cube. Then we went to town and watched 2 shows, Robots and Son of the mask. something went wrong after the movie Son of the mask, which was that des did something super sTUPid! lOlx

Sunday, was suppose to work at 12pm but unfortunately i woke up at 11.38am..so i msg my female boss and told her than i will reach at 1pm. but i felt gastric pain while i was on my way to work so i called cocosan and said that i wont be able to work, ok hmmm she told mi to look for karen and didnt scold mi..but !!! she hanged off without saying bye!!
Met jacqualine, maggrat and daniel after their work, loOlx something fabulous happened too! but due to her personal reputation, i am not gonna say here waHahAhahaHa =p we were like trying so damn hard not to laugh la.

today is monday, received 7 morning calls from melissa, she was so evil!!! she called my house phone after the 7th morning calls to my hp and asked my brother to wake mi up instead! but useless la mel, i went back to sleep. lolx okiee i woke up finally when she reached my house and we had our breakfast together. met lynn and maveric and we went back to school together. listened to the syf band and felt so.. hmm =X
gRRr i am so tired. lazy to continue..

wats the point?

wats the point telling mi all this? eg, the 1st time we went out.. the 1st valentine's day we spent together..ur present.. the happiest moment.. my baby photos.. our photos in ur com and phone..our neo prints in ur mum's wallet.. the pic u taken on cruise..blah blah blah. its veri sickening to mi. yeah u were thinking about all these the night b4, but the night b4 u just told mi that u suffered for 2 years! wth/ wat do u want? straightforward abit can? pls dun tell mi the ans which i dun want to hear, coz i will commit suicide. really enough of all the these problems recently, i want to settle down now, please.

i hATE ALvin

ok.. so now i have wasted almost 1 and a half year on someone. someone who is so not worth my time to waste on. moronic bastard. i really hate him to the core now. words cant even express my hostilities towards this person. wah, i really hate him. how the hell i did that to tolerate him for so long? love can really stupefied a person yeah. and i am finally awake. so glad that i broke up with him last year. until now, he's still so unreasonable and nonsensical. Went to gym with him today, things he did were still as irritating as ever. i wonder when will he realli grow up. i failed to make him become mature. things i said and i kept reepeating.. he just wont listen and try to accept the fact.
why is he saying things like 'wa, so fast go stead with another guy, now i know how much u love mi last time.' to mi. ok, this did made mi feel bad but also made mi hate him more. i broke up with him like 5 months ago?? maybe his egoistical pride is busted like wat cheryl said. lOlx dunnoe whos the one who suffered in the past. being restricted from displaying own pic online, being forced not to chat with friends, being imprisoned to go out with him onli, passwards for all accounts was being forced to share, msg in hp were all read by him without my permission. ARgh!!!!! just felt so irritated and exasperated by him yet he's one who is saying himself suffered for 2 years. so storming eh.pls tell mi how did i manage to tolerate him for 2 years? yet wat i get is ..
i am so afriad to get into relationship again now, especially long relationship..it was a nightmare and i got petrified by this horrible nightmare.
althought a new relationship has just began for mi and another guy, but i've lost faith in relationship right now. sorry to say that but this is the fact. i feel that i am not ready and lack of the stamina for long relationship now, so to hurry mi would be a crime! lets take our time. hahhaa

sorry ppl

sorry ppl.. i am gonna be attached for one year.
ARgh!!!!!!! now den i realise how much body fats actually has stored in my body. ARgh!!!!!! o ya
thanks to ppl who said that i'll onli spoiled the name of California Fittness eh! and he himself is going to be 70kg !! hmmmmpf.
Lynn is coming to work with mi next week to replace xy, becoz xy just had an operation and she is now resting at home for 2 weeks! who knows she will really stay at home for 2 weeks. lolx
Meet lynn today, as usual i was late for half an hour. We went to cali and taka and finally settled down in nydc to have our lunch and dinner, it was a freaking terrible one la.. i was so full that i felt like vomitting a few times. yeah as we settle down and we started to chat again, we talked about ppl and talked about life. she said ren yu ren zhi jian is so funny, they can be so nice and so close to each other this moment and the next moment they can talk behind each other's back. yeah, this was wat happened to us, s6 in the past. den i looked at her and thought of our sec2 school life. she was like the most close one to mi among the s6. we sat beside each other and we always got scolded by teachers for being so noisy in class, we share secrets and we helped each other, she helped mi in tests, and thats why when she's the highest in class, i'm the 2nd highest. lolx as we promoted to sec3, she changed for no reason and this pulled us apart, den adeline has became the most close one to mi in s6. Time will change as well as people, things happened as time goes on and problems of our own popped out, she's still the one who i find its most comfortable talking to and i know that she wont hide things from mi too. hmmm kinda glad that we are back to the past and remain as close friends yea. ok dun wanna talk so much about her. i am not les.=p
o ya i will be attached for one year start from 8th march 2005. i dunnoe wat am i doing and i dunnoe if this is right for mi too. i told lynn that i'll settle everthing by tonight, yet.. just following my heart now. my heart is now taking control over my mind. ok no harm trying la right. anyway one year is such a short period of time to my life long journey. no! i think i should put it in this way, he stolen my heart silently without mi knowing and i am gonna steal his forever. =p

Life is so beautiful when somebody cares.. life is so sucky when nobody care..life is so exciting when u've found the one u like.. life is so gReat when u're been liked by someone..life is so miserable when the one u like doesnt like u..life is so suffocating when u're confused with ur own feeling..life is so dead when u dunnoe wat u want in life..life can be so breathless, so empty when u start to miss someone out there who u know u cant be together with him.

I feel as though i am been stupefied by things happening around mi. made the wrong choices in my courses application, lost my direction of life. discombobulated with things happening in the present and my future. Change is the law of life, ppl who onli look at their past and present are certain to miss their future. i feel that i've become more dilly-dally with my feelings, twiddling and fooling around recently. Fabulous change in mi yeah?i think am ought to change again. yeah, cant keep contradicting with myself and considering about so many things behind.. i must learn to see through things quickly and make my decisions fast.

Thanks to you, MOE! made me realise that i am ought to change. and thanks to you, DESMOND LEE, u are such a bastard that messed up my feelings recently, such a dork that made mi horse around with u, causing the super big eye bags and new pimples on my face! yEah..gotta put the blame u becoz u are such a LAmebRain, stop screwing up my feelings or i will get ur blunder head off ur body!! ur 20% against 80%, my 40% against 60%, lets see who will be defected and surrendered fisrt!

soooooo tired today! slept at 6+am yesterday and got a morning call by lynn at 10am! >< was suppose to meet her at sec school and collect the concert tickets from Mr wong. but as usual.... heeheewent to california fittness with her today, her consultant was so so so long winded that i just felt like lying down and sleep while hes explaining the rules and regulations to lynN. Kinda surpprised that i could do my workout for 45 mins even when i was soo DAMn supER sleepy. lolx.
We went to fetch xY from work and meet melissa in taka after gYm.. lolxXx.. afTer 3 days of working, xy sTArts to complain about the job alREady!! lolx. imagine i stayed there for one whole month! ><
we had our dinner at coffee club and quickly rushed to Singapore confrerence hall for SaJc band concert. oO we were late even though we walked like we were flying..wahahahathe concert was so GREAt. their concerts are always so fun and enjoyable that unlike other band concerts which just introducing and playing musicz, i like the way the student conductors tried to attract attention when they were talking. loLx and gOsh!!! they looked so potential la! except for the song which re arranged by the head student conductor was so sucky. =X wOw.. SAMB had done so well too.. cant put benson together with their piccoloist eh? =X cant imgaine myself standing beside them..if i am even qualify for a 2nd flute player. lOlx how i wish our tsmb manpower can be like 3/4 of them. ha Ha ha